Even though I feel like I’m slowly waking up on a better side of the bed, mornings are a little rough for me and it’s best to kind of just leave me alone…unless you’re giving out massages, then I most definitely want you around. They’re not rough in the sense that I’m sick, but that I don’t sleep like I used to. I toss & turn a ton and usually feel like I’m aware of everything…just with my eyes closed. This lack of perfection sleep that I USED to get leaves me a little groggy and a little pissy in the morning.
This pissy morning attitude usually goes away over the course of my first few hours at work while I monch on some cereal, but if that morning wake up routine is disturbed by someone else’s problems or attitude, I snap back into a big black dragon again. I feel super selfish, but I kind of don’t care about anyone else’s problems before, like…11.
I was destined to be that person that can wake up early, but must wake up slowly…if that makes sense. I can be up with the sun & the chickens and the other hard-working Americans, but only if that means that I can get my hubby out the door while still in my pajamas, have a warm cup of something, a light breakfast, a bath, watch morning shows, do some exercising, get pretty, get dressed, & then get out the door within a 4-5 hour span, then yes…I can be a morning person. But to wake up & be out the door in 35-40 minutes looking fully refreshed is just not my cup of joe. Just not. It’s an inevitable occurrence, so I naturally do it…and since I have to naturally, inevitable do it…I don’t want to be bothered for 4-5 hours. Ha. This underlying awareness of the morning selfishness has just blossomed at this phase in my pregnancy. I’m much more aware of that gremlin inside of me & don’t really have the energy to cage it, so it slips out every now & then…lo siento for whoever tries to dish me their issues before I’m ready to give a damn.
I smell everything. It’s kind of cool, but it’s such a curse at the same time, because I’m reaching that point where certain foods or smells make me want to gag. These certain foods right now are raw meats. I cannot…I repeat CANNOT cook raw ground beef without wanting to shove my head in the toilet. It’s kind of a staple for a lot of our meals throughout the week, so having to choke through it has done more harm than good I think. I end up having to stop halfway through and pray to Jesus that Bryce will come home to finish it so that my senses can get a break! Another is raw chicken…just the smells of uncooked meats makes me all urpy. I just can’t deal with it. Just typing it up even makes my skin crawl. *shivers..* ew.
Sometimes I smell things that aren’t even in front of me. I’ll have days where the only thing I want in the whole world is a plate of rice & curry or a hotdog and I smell it right then and there as if it were just within reach. That’s a vivid pregnancy brain…or I’m just crazy. Either one.